Some people believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Travelling plays an instrumental role in everyone's life. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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some
people
think that
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
somewhere is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
experience and some
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
it is a
waste
of
time
as well as
money
. Both views are discussed in the following paragraph
and
Correct word choice
apply
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along with
my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
.
To begin
with, travelling is
the
Correct article usage
a
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good experience for
people
, if
people
go outside in
this
way they can learn a lot of things.
People
go out of
country
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the country
show examples
and learn other's
people
culture
as well as
language and one most important thing is that they can
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
how's
Unnecessary verb
how
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oher
Correct your spelling
other
people
lives and try different
varities
Correct your spelling
varieties
of food and clothes.
For example
,
chinese
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Chinese
show examples
people
wear different types of clothes and eat different foods. With the help of travelling,
people
can spend
time
with loved ones. Nextly, travelling
provide
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provides
show examples
relaxation and smoothing life from
hectic
Correct article usage
a hectic
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schedule because everyone
busy
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is busy
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to earn
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earning
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money
and fame they have no
time
to spend
time
with family, with travelling they can
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
fresh and more energetic and spend valuable
time
. On the flip side, every
coins
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coin
show examples
has two sides, there are some reasons travelling is a
waste
of
time
and
money
.
Firstly
,
people
can
waste
a lot of
money
when they go outside
for example
if they go out of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
they spend a lot of amount on tickets , food and clothes , One thing is that they live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hotels and everyone knows the
hotels
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hotel's
hotels'
show examples
price in
europe
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Europe
show examples
countries.
Secondaly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
,
people
take holidays from work and some companies do not provide paid holidays in
this
way they
waste
money
in double manners.
To
Change preposition
In
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conclusion, in my opinion,
people
should go
for
Change preposition
apply
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travelling and take some
time
for
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
and spend
time
with
families
Correct pronoun usage
their families
show examples
and enjoy life.
Submitted by shaganpreetbal1 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more coherently.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to the task by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. Provide more comprehensive and relevant examples to support your ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadens horizons
  • cultural exposure
  • tolerance
  • self-reliance
  • overcoming challenges
  • language proficiency
  • sustainable tourism
  • environmental footprint
  • cultural homogenization
  • commercialization
  • responsible travel
  • global understanding
  • eco-friendly practices
  • accessible alternatives
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