IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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Due to
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 globalization, people tend to try different cuisines. Consumption of produce from different regions than your own is increasing.
Although
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 a metropolitan city should have various options, I believe individuals should consume local food, as it is more beneficial.
Firstly
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, locally grown produce promotes small businesses.
In other words
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, if people buy more from local vendors, sales and tax collection will be increased, resulting in
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 economy.
For instance
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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bread bought from a shop near you will directly contribute to your city's wellness.
Furthermore
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, feed grown in your city is cheaper because the duties and government taxes paid on imported food are higher.
For example
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,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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import
Correct subject-verb agreement
imports
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 most of its fish, so, the fish bought from the local fisherman is half the price of a supermarket fish.
Secondly
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, seasonal and local feed is way healthier than others. The produce imported from far distances has to be frozen in order to keep its freshness, which reduces its nutritional value. Like, most of the meat in supermarkets is bought frozen and
then
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 kept on shelves for as long as 4 weeks.
In addition
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, you should only consume a seasonal meal.
Such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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a
Change preposition
in a
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crop
that is
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 grown in
summers
Fix the agreement mistake
summer
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 your area is imported in
winters
Fix the agreement mistake
winter
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 from other parts of the world where the weather is warm.
This
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 is made possible by new pesticides, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 proven to kill healthy bacteria.
To conclude
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,
while
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 there are some advantages to imported produce, the disadvantages are many. Governments should promote local food and vendors in order to save them.

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task achievement
Expand your conclusion to summarize the main points discussed in the essay and reinforce your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your arguments are more clearly connected, possibly using phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' to enhance flow between points.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion that is maintained throughout.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage well for the discussion that follows.
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