IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to begin to eat more healthy meals.Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #government #tax #food #meals
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It is often thought by some that authorities must impose tariff on unhealthy meals in order to motivate people to follow a healthy meal style. I completely disagree and tend to believe that charging
levy
Suggestion
a levy
 on meal items that are unsafe for people is not an effective measure to develop a habit of following a healthy meal with the people.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is true that people who have lower and middle income will always depend on their monthly budget and price surge in meal items will affect their meal habits. If unhealthy meal items are levied, they will forced to have homely meals.
However
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 rich people in the society will continue to have unhealthy
Use synonyms
diet even
Accept comma addition
diet, even
 if
tariff
Suggestion
the tariff
 is charged. So
enforcing tax
Suggestion
an enforcing tax
 on junk
meal
the bags of letters and packages that are transported by the postal service
mail
 is not adequate to change the meal habit of people.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 awareness on junk meal should be conducted among people to help them to adapt a good meal style
.
Accept space
.
If they know the harmful effects of sugary beverages
,
Accept space
,
frozen foods and fatty chips, people will shift from consuming these junk
meal
Suggestion
meals
 to having more healthier meal.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 fast meal restaurants should be replaced by meal stores which offer healthier preferences.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 a recent research conducted in Indian population in 2019 has revealed that 84 percent of people depend on fast foods because of non-availability of a healthier option.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 adverts for foods that are dangerous to people to be controlled by officials to reduce its consumption. Because most individuals, especially children and young adults, are attracted to unhealthy meal products by the influences of advertisements. To conclude, charging tariff
on
Suggestion
of
for
 meals that are threatening to the health of
public
Suggestion
the public
 is not effective
for
Suggestion
in
 making people to have healthy meals.
Instead
Linking Words
,
measures namely
Accept comma addition
measures, namely
 creating awareness among public, replacement of fast food restaurants with a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 store, controlling of adverts on
unsafe
Suggestion
an unsafe diet
diet
Use synonyms
 can help people to follow a
healthu
having or indicating good health in body or mind; free from infirmity or disease
healthy
health
healthier
diet
Use synonyms
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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