Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #time

Some workers believe that the more

time

you

work

, the more success you achieve. That’s why many people agree that countries with a long average working

time

are more successful than those countries which have less working

time

. In my opinion, I entirely disagree with

this

statement and believe that it is not good to

work

too much. It is the fact that spending more

time

working does not mean you will earn more money. As far as I know, Korea and Mexico are listed in the top 5 countries having the longest working

time

. Both the Mexican and the Korean

work

about 10 hours per day. And these countries are

not still listed

Suggestion

still not listed

in the top 5 most developed countries. Meanwhile, Denmark, Germany or other European countries are recognized as the most developed countries with the developed economy. There is an interesting fact that the German

only

Suggestion

only works

work

roughly 4 to 5 hours per day, which is half as much

time

as the Korean works. So, it is obvious that the importance is productivity, not the length of working

time

. Workers in Europe know how to use technology

Suggestion

their jobs to increase the capacity,

therefore

, they easily earn a huge amount of money and live happily.

Moreover

, working too much causes many dangerous diseases

such

as stress, headache or heart attack. In Japan, there is a word called “

karoshi

Suggestion

Karoshi

’’

Accept space

refers to overworked people died because of working pressure. The Japanese not only do full-

time

job but

Accept comma addition

job, but

also

do a part-

time

job at midnight. They are having lack of relaxing

time

as a result

, they get some dangerous diseases and even lead to death. But the economy is not as strong as European countries. In conclusion, working too much is not good for employees at all. We have to manipulate technological devices to

work

, by that way, people will get enough money to live happily.

Sat Mar 14 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic success
working hours
productivity
sustainable development
work-life balance
labor laws
efficiency
gross domestic product (GDP)
burnout
occupational health
technological innovation
industrialized nations
emerging economies
workforce
competitiveness
workplace culture
employee turnover
quality of life

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Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, manya are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discussion both sides and give your opinion

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What do you think is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

‘Children who have brothers and sisters often have better social development than an only child. The government should therefore give money to parents to have two or more children.’ What do you think about this proposal?