The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011

The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011
The bar graph presents the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of rentals and sales
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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of film annually.
Moreover
, the chart shows the information
cleerly
Correct your spelling
clearly
between 2002 and 2011. As can be seen, the number of
rental
Change to a plural noun
rentals
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started at the highest number at 175,000 units in 2002.
On the other hand
, the consumer who
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
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to rent decrease slightly every year.
Finally
, in 2011, the store got income from rentals
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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than
2002
Change preposition
in 2002
show examples
4 times.
In addition
, in 2002 people started to buy
DVD
Fix the agreement mistake
DVDs
show examples
, which began at 40,000 units per year. Increasing rapidly,
demand
Add an article
the demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
DVD
Fix the agreement mistake
DVDs
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reached
the
Change the word
its
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peak in 2007, which was more valuable than every kind of
films
Fix the agreement mistake
film
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.
On the contrary
, the number of people
favoring
Change the spelling
favouring
show examples
DVD
Fix the agreement mistake
DVDs
show examples
decreased slightly from 2008 to 2011.
In contrast
, having the identical pattern with the rentals, VHS started with smaller at the beginning of the figure, which was 70,000 units.
In addition
, VHS sales disappeared after 2005.
Furthermore
, customers began to
interested
Add a missing verb
be interested
show examples
in Blu-ray
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
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in 2007 and
increase
Correct pronoun usage
this increase
show examples
slightly every year.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trend
  • Rentals
  • Sales
  • Formats
  • VHS (Video Home System)
  • DVD (Digital Versatile Disc)
  • Blu-ray
  • Peak
  • Decline
  • Rise
  • Market changes
  • Digital downloads
  • Physical formats
  • Over the years
  • Annual
  • Comparison
  • Impact
  • Technological advancements
  • Shift
  • Predictions
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