IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more prons to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

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There is no denying the fact that people have different preferences when it comes to choosing between living in a
house
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 or an apartment.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that houses offer more space and privacy, there is
also
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 an argument that
apartments
Use synonyms
 have more practical advantages.
This
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 essay will analyse the topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, living in a
house
Use synonyms
 offers more freedom and space.
In other words
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, houses usually have larger living areas, gardens, and more rooms compared to
apartments
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.
In addition
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, owning a
house
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 often means more privacy, as there are fewer people around.
For example
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, in a
house
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, people can have private backyards, host parties, or enjoy outdoor activities without worrying about disturbing others.
On the other hand
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,
apartments
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 can offer significant advantages in terms of convenience and security. It is
also
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 possible to say that
apartments
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 are often located in more central areas, making it easier to access shops, schools, and workplaces.
Moreover
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, apartment living typically includes additional services like security, maintenance, and shared amenities
such
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 as gyms or pools.
For instance
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, many
apartments
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 provide facilities that might be costly to set up in a
house
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,
such
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 as a concierge or security guards.
To sum up
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, there is no easy answer to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that the advantages of living in a
house
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 outweigh those of living in an apartment, especially when considering the long-term space and privacy benefits.

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Task Achievement
Consider expanding your examples to provide a more detailed comparison of the benefits of houses and apartments. This can enhance the clarity and depth of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay. This will help to connect your ideas more smoothly.
Positive
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your opinion, which is a strong start.
Positive
You have made good use of examples to support your points about privacy and convenience, which adds to the persuasive quality of your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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