Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative

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Currently, the

criminal

Suggestion

crime

problem is the top concern for families as well as the society. While some people believe that longer prison sentences is the best method to address

this

Linking Words

problem as it creates a sense of fear in the potential offenders, others think that there are more effective ways. From my point of view, it depends on what kind of crime is to decide to punish.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are benefits of giving offenders longer prison punishment.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the criminals who committed crimes

such

Linking Words

as sexual assault, murder and drug trafficking should be put into jail for a long period. It helps innocent people and teenagers live in a safe world.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the longer offenders stay in a prison, the higher chances of them to re-educate their characters.

For example

Linking Words

, Le Van

Luyen

the temporary provision of money (usually at interest)

Loan

Loon

Lien

, killing seven people in a family when he was 18 years old, was remanded in custody for 20 years because of his wrong-doing.

This

Linking Words

illustration deters a lawbreaker from doing the same thing as him.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I support the view that there are more effective and realistic approaches to reduce crimes. The government must focus on education and

creation

Suggestion

the creation

of jobs. Education must be either free or affordable as

this

Linking Words

is the opportunity to gain better qualifications to acquire good jobs.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is the responsibility of government to invest in creating jobs and providing

their

objective case of they

them

access.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if people are well-educated, they will land a well-paid job and will not resort to any criminal acts. In conclusion, I strongly believe that there are many ways to decrease the crime rates depending on the different elements that I mentioned above.

Submitted by nguyenngocmai12g on Sat Mar 14 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Why is this happening and what can be done to reduce it?

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

chart the amount of tea and coffee imported by four different countries in 2017.

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?