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Writing Samples
Band 5

Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #diseases
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Vaccination
Use synonyms
 has
alaways
at all times; all the time and on every occasion
always
 been an issue of debate, Some people think that there is no need of it because it can be detrimental to children.
However
Linking Words
, I completely disagree with the given statement because it can save our
chil
a young person of either sex
child
 from many diseases and its
affects
property of a personal character that is portable but not used in business
effects
 are not dangerous. To commence with
,
Accept space
,
there are many valid points
to go
Suggestion
going
 in favour of
vaccination
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
it is mandatory to inject medicines to the young ones because it can keep them safe from the upcoming ailments
such
Linking Words
 as
measels
an acute and highly contagious viral disease marked by distinct red spots followed by a rash; occurs primarily in children
measles
 and chickenpox.
Linking Words
moreover
in addition
Moreover
child's immune system
Suggestion
the child's immune system
 is very weak and they are
vulernable
susceptible to attack
vulnerable
 victims of
dieseas
an impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning
disease
 in young age. To save them and improve their immunity there is utmost
nessecity
the condition of being essential or indispensable
necessity
 to administrate
these injection
Suggestion
these injections
.
In addition
Linking Words
, these medicines are not dangerous at all because they have proven results and well tested.India is a good example of
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 positive results.
by
Suggestion
By
 using polio
Use synonyms
vaccination they
Accept comma addition
vaccination, they
 got success to completely eradicate
this
Linking Words
 health issue.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these injections are
benefical
promoting or enhancing well-being
beneficial
 and does not have any negative impacts.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believed
 that
vaccination
Use synonyms
 is not needed and have ill effects on our upcoming generations due to fact that they are not aware these drugs are
comes
Suggestion
coming
 into usage
afters
happening at a time subsequent to a reference time
after
 years of study and testing.
furhermore
in addition
Furthermore
Furhermore
,
Accept space
,
 every parent is emotionally attached to their offsprings
anf
in order to; used instead of "to", especially after try, come, go
and
 for them it is hard to see them in pain with injection needle. But it's reasons of injecting are far more beneficial than its minor danger comes with
itsuch
Suggestion
it such
 as mild fever and some rashes. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
despite some people have different views about
vaccination
Use synonyms
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 believe
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 role is imperative to save
child
Suggestion
a child
the child
 against some diseases and cannot be neglected because of a very little risk involve in it.
Submitted by bhawnaj7 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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