In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they study at school hard enough. What are the advanatages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

There is no denying that school plays a crucial role in helping
children
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achieve their goals.
While
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many people believe that persistence and discipline are essential for
children
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’s success, others argue that putting too much pressure on them can be harmful.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On the one hand, discipline helps
children
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develop valuable skills for their future.
In other words
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, studying hard provides them with important knowledge in subjects
such
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as mathematics, physics, and chemistry, which can benefit them throughout their lives.
Moreover
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, working diligently teaches patience and resilience.
For example
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, if
children
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learn to overcome challenges during their studies, they are more likely to handle difficulties in their future careers with confidence and determination.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that
children
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should not be pressured to work too hard. They argue that
children
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learn best when they are motivated by curiosity and enjoyment rather than stress.
In addition
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, excessive pressure may lead to negative consequences,
such
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as loss of interest in learning or even mental health issues.
For instance
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, if
children
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are forced to study for long hours without free time, they might begin to hate school
instead
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of appreciating it. In conclusion, there is no simple answer to
this
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issue.
However
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, I believe that encouraging
children
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to work hard is beneficial as it helps them build strong character and essential skills. At the same time, it is important to give them enough space to enjoy their childhood and learn at their own pace.

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coherence
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lexical
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task
Add one or two small, easy examples from real life to back points.
grammar
Check small grammar, like subject-verb and use of articles.
structure
Keep a steady tone and end with a clear view.
structure
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content
Both sides are shown and the view is clear.
cohesion
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