IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think there are other factors which can be used to measure a country’s success. What are these factors? Which, of all factors, do you think are most important?

#people #progress #measure #country’s #success #factors
Economic growth is considered as the sole parameter to determine the success of a nation by some people.
However
, many other advocates that there are umpteen other elements which can help in
analyzing
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analysing
 the accomplishment of a state. These factors include crime
rate
, literacy
rate
, mortality
rate
 and happiness index etc. Undeniably, there are several factors that can substitute the financial progress as the success criteria for a
country
.
Firstly
, it is literacy
rate which
Accept comma addition
rate, which
 reflects the proportion of literate people out of
total population
Suggestion
the total population
. Higher literacy
rate
 symbolizes higher educated and aware mass which is proactive towards any economic crisis or any natural calamity.
Secondly
, it is mortality
rate which
Accept comma addition
rate, which
 can be defined as
number
Suggestion
the number
 of deaths in a given territory or period. Lower mortality
rate
 depicts the long living tendency of individuals in a
country
. As per my opinion, Happiness Index is the most significant factor to decide the level of
country
Suggestion
the country
 in terms of success. It reports the percentage of happy and satisfied people in a
country
. The ultimate purpose of an individual is not to get financially
sound but
Accept comma addition
sound, but
 to get happiness in life. As per 2019 World Happiness Report issued by
UN
Suggestion
the UN
, Finland leads the list with
highest percentage
Suggestion
the highest percentage
 of happy people in the nation. To conclude,
although
 economic development is a key factor in assessing the
country
’s prosperity, there
exists
Suggestion
exist
 several other factors which play a pivotal role as a gauge for the same purpose. A person works to earn money and that money is spent to get things which
brings
Suggestion
bring
 the feeling of satisfaction which proves that being happy is more important than being rich.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • holistic approach
  • subjective well-being
  • quality of life
  • human development index (HDI)
  • green economy
  • technological prowess
  • social cohesion
  • equality and equity
  • cultural vitality
  • political transparency
  • judicial efficacy
  • civil liberties
  • progress indicators
  • societal prosperity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: