IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people believe that secondary or high school students should be taught how to use money management as an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree

#people #school #students #money #management #life #skill
It is argued by some people that
money
 management ought to be taught to high school students as an important skill. I agree with
this
 opinion as
this
 will teach the students the importance of
money
 and will be helpful in practical life. The
money
 management lectures
at
Suggestion
in
 high school can extremely useful for
the young
Suggestion
younger
 students as it will teach them the practical aspects of accounts. Children nowadays are totally unaware of the fact that
money
 is earned after great hard work. The subject of
money
 management will inculcate
sense
Suggestion
a sense
 of
responsiblity
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibility
 towards parents` hard earned
money
.
For example
, children are in
habit
Suggestion
the habit
 of spending whole of their pocket
money
 at the start of
month
Suggestion
the month
 and later on ask for extra at the end of
month
Suggestion
the month
.
This
 will teach them how to manage their limited pocket
money
through out
all the way through
throughout
 the month.
Hence
, they will be ready to enter practical life at an early age. If children learn to manage their
money
 at an early stage it will create a sense of responsibility in them. They will take care of everything
that is
 provided to them.
Submitted by eden2029 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: