Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #world #money #illnesses #diseases #health #education #prevention

It is a true fact that good

health

is vital factor to determine the development of the country. Some people claim that the

government

has taken necessary preventive mechanisms against the cause of

diseases whereas

Accept comma addition

diseases, whereas

, others argue that they focus only to treat illness

Accept space

However

, I partly agree with the statement, because in my viewpoint

government

has implemented required actions to prevent as well as to treat diseases.

To begin

with, the development in the medical sector is indispensable.

Firstly

, the increased number of hospitals and medical facilities are the major achievement. Building

number

Suggestion

the number

a number

of hospitals in rural as well as urban areas with highly qualified doctors and advanced medical facilities in terms of modern equipment as well as medicines, which is considered as the major step taken by

government

Suggestion

the government

to identify and treat the illness.

Secondly

, in order to treat people in remote areas, several

health

checkup campaigns are organized and

thus

they ensure the fitness of people around the country.

For instance

On the other hand

, the effective measures of

government

to prevent diseases are inevitable. The importance of vaccination and the need to increase the immunization power

is developed

Suggestion

develops

among the common people. By educating

people especially

Accept comma addition

people, especially

, teenagers and adults about the necessity of good

health

has helped to improve the

health

of people to a large extent.

For example

, vaccinations and polio are given regularly to children to develop better immunity among the children from their early ages. In conclusion, even though the

government

has spend

Suggestion

has spent

too much on the treatment of illness in terms of modern equipment and advanced treatment methods, they have generated an awareness among the public to create sufficient knowledge about

health

Submitted by aswathyrajan2094 on Sun Mar 15 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that it is better to have the same job throughout their life, while others think that people should change their job after some period of time. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that charities should help people in need no matter where those people are in the world,Others feel that these organizations should only serve the people living in the country where they are based Discuss both sides and give your own view.

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on soiety?

Some people say that playing sports helps prepare children for their future work,while others disagree, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.