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Band 6.5

Is it better to take a gap year to travel or to go straight to university? Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

#gap #year #travel #university #idea #waste #time
Meanwhile, there are a lot of discussions revolving around taking a year gap for travelling or directly taking admission into universities after college. In my opinion, encouraging a junior to go on vacation by taking a year’s gap will not be ideal.
This
 essay will illustrate both views and
also
 by justifying my viewpoint. On the one hand, travelling to any new place or country has become extremely expensive in recent times. Anyhow, a student cannot afford to go on vacation on their own income
therefore
 they need to solely depend on their parents.
For instance
, I had a group of friends where every summer they used to travel to a new place
along with
 their parents.
Moreover
,
such
 a situation might not be the same for every junior
due to
 the lack of financial independence of their family.
On the other hand
, it is an undeniable argument that taking a break during any period of studies or career will affect anyone’s mind towards distraction. It has been seen in many countries that taking a break during academic studies leads students into other unwanted social activities and makes them addicted to parties. In order to, focus on productive learning around studies it is mandatory to keep progressing in every aspect of life being a student.
To conclude
, taking a break after college to travelling is an expensive affair for any pupil to afford and they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to depend on their parent’s income. Meanwhile, for learning there should not be any year gap which is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time in my opinion.
Submitted by sameer on

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Coherence and Cohesion
In the essay, ensure that the introduction presents a clear thesis statement. Some statements in the body lack clarity, which affects the logical progression of your ideas.
Task Achievement
You must provide a more comprehensive argument with specific examples to support your opinion. The essay would benefit from more detailed examples related to the topic.
Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, try to focus on analyzing both sides of the argument equally before giving your own viewpoint. This will enhance the effectiveness of your discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a better Coherence and Cohesion score, work on linking ideas more smoothly and using a wider range of cohesive devices.
Task Achievement
Be sure to provide a balanced view before giving a reasoned conclusion to your discussion to fully satisfy the requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points of the essay. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion and try to restate your main argument more powerfully.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • travel
  • university
  • cultural exposure
  • personal growth
  • independence
  • interests
  • passions
  • seamless transition
  • momentum
  • academic development
  • personal development
  • delayed start
  • traditional education path
  • self-discovery
  • introspection
  • specialized knowledge
  • future careers
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