the chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006

#sales #kinds #games

The bar chart illustrates the worldwide

sales

of the varied kinds of digital

games

over the period of 6 years from 2000 to 2006.

Overall

, the majority of global

sales

are occupied by handheld

games

in the given period.

Whereas

, mobile phone

games

stood at the least and occupied very low

sales

How ever

Correct your spelling

However

show examples

, there are many more

games

which are in

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

like console

games

and online

games

Initially

, handheld

games

are having a sale of about 12

currency

billions

Fix the agreement mistake

billion

show examples

in the beginning, which rose to 18

currency

billions

Fix the agreement mistake

billion

show examples

in the final year. In 2001 PC

games

are somewhere around 6

currency

billions

which declined exactly to

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

half by the end. Online

games

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

remarkably increased from 0

currency

billion to 10

currency

billions

Fix the agreement mistake

billion

show examples

. Mobile phone

games

which are

initially

at 0

currency

billion increased approximately to 6

currency

billions

Fix the agreement mistake

billion

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

sales

. To surmise, handheld

games

showed astonishing results when compared to any other kind of

games

Fix the agreement mistake

game

show examples

and stood at the top places in

sales

over the world.

Submitted by kalyandunuka17 on Sun Mar 15 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, games, currency, billions with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

170 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, part of people tend to think that spending time cooking and eating dishes at home with family is more satisfying than visiting a cafe or local cuisine restaurant to spend money here. I totally agree that is a significant option for people because they may save money and increase their knowledge of how to cook any dishes by themselves.
8
band
You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter • describe the situation • explain your problems and why it is difficult to work • say what kind of accommodation you would prefe
I am writing to express my concern about living in the college room with another student. Hence, I will explain the problem in more detail in the following letter.
5
band
Some people say that young people learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others say that young people who play electronic and computer games waste their time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of computer games? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
People have different views about whether playing digital games helps the children to enhance useful skills or it is just a time waste. I shall analyse both the views while i prefer the former.
5.5
band
As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?
Tiny businesses and city markets became out of service in several states because individuals are interested in huge supermarkets. So , this means that poor people in every country will not be able to access these companies and purchase their needs . There are many positive sides to this fashion as well as a number of downsides.
5.5
band
The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?
One day, all brick-and-mortar stores will close because of the growth of e-commerce. I disagree with this statement for two reasons: customers can get experiences in physical stores that they cannot get online, and many products require hands-on inspection before purchase.

the chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants. Do you agree or disagree?

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?