the chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006

The bar chart illustrates the worldwide

sales

Use synonyms

of the varied kinds of digital

games

Use synonyms

over the period of 6 years from 2000 to 2006.

Overall

Linking Words

, the majority of global

sales

Use synonyms

are occupied by handheld

games

Use synonyms

in the given period.

Whereas

Linking Words

, mobile phone

games

Use synonyms

stood at the least and occupied very low

sales

Use synonyms

How ever

Correct your spelling

However

show examples

, there are many more

games

Use synonyms

which are in

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

like console

games

Use synonyms

and online

games

Use synonyms

Initially

Linking Words

, handheld

games

Use synonyms

are having a sale of about 12

currency

Use synonyms

billions

Fix the agreement mistake

billion

show examples

in the beginning, which rose to 18

currency

Use synonyms

billions

Fix the agreement mistake

billion

show examples

in the final year. In 2001 PC

games

Use synonyms

are somewhere around 6

currency

Use synonyms

billions

Use synonyms

which declined exactly to

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

half by the end. Online

games

Use synonyms

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

remarkably increased from 0

currency

Use synonyms

billion to 10

currency

Use synonyms

billions

Fix the agreement mistake

billion

show examples

. Mobile phone

games

Use synonyms

which are

initially

Linking Words

at 0

currency

Use synonyms

billion increased approximately to 6

currency

Use synonyms

billions

Fix the agreement mistake

billion

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

sales

Use synonyms

. To surmise, handheld

games

Use synonyms

showed astonishing results when compared to any other kind of

Use synonyms

games

Fix the agreement mistake

game

show examples

and stood at the top places in

sales

Use synonyms

over the world.

kalyandunuka17

Mar 15, 2020

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, games, currency, billions with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.

▼

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

170 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Global sales
Digital games
Trends
Emergence
Decline
Console games
Handheld games
Popularity
Steady increase
Online games
Mobile phone games
Technological advancements
Consumer behavior
Subsequent growth
Noticeable changes

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the chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006

Some people soy thol industrial growth is necessory to solve poverty, but some other people orgue that industrial growth is causing environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion

n some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?