the chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006

#sales #kinds #games

The bar chart illustrates the worldwide

sales

of the varied kinds of digital

games

over the period of 6 years from 2000 to 2006.

Overall

, the majority of global

sales

are occupied by handheld

games

in the given period.

Whereas

, mobile phone

games

stood at the least and occupied very low

sales

How ever

Correct your spelling

However

show examples

, there are many more

games

which are in

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

like console

games

and online

games

Initially

, handheld

games

are having a sale of about 12

currency

billions

Fix the agreement mistake

billion

show examples

in the beginning, which rose to 18

currency

billions

Fix the agreement mistake

billion

show examples

in the final year. In 2001 PC

games

are somewhere around 6

currency

billions

which declined exactly to

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

half by the end. Online

games

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

remarkably increased from 0

currency

billion to 10

currency

billions

Fix the agreement mistake

billion

show examples

. Mobile phone

games

which are

initially

at 0

currency

billion increased approximately to 6

currency

billions

Fix the agreement mistake

billion

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

sales

. To surmise, handheld

games

showed astonishing results when compared to any other kind of

games

Fix the agreement mistake

game

show examples

and stood at the top places in

sales

over the world.

Submitted by kalyandunuka17 on Sun Mar 15 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, games, currency, billions with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

170 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
For some people, the ideal holiday is to get away from their normal routine by staying in a hotel or camping in a countryside. Others prefer to stay at home and do things they do not normally have time for. What do you think are the benefits of going away on holidays? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously talked about among various individuals and groups, and one prominent topic is holidays. There are even people who prefer to have an unusual holiday by going to rural areas, while others tend to stay at home to do things they have no time to try normally. If physical and psychological are to be considered, I strongly agree that people should have a remarkable trip even though others think that the time on vacations should be spent on meaningful things.
6
band
Anyone can post information on the Internet.Some people say most of what we read on the Internet is inaccurate,To what extend do you agree or disagree?
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.
6
band
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones (cellphones) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
The use of mobile payment apps is rapidly increasing around the world, as people are drawn to their convenience and speed. While there are some concerns about the security of these apps, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
7
band
Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Others believe that it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It has always been a debatable issue whether making friends with similar views is better or opting for those with conflicting ones. I personally think it is good to have peers with different opinions.
7
band
Give details of the job & position you are applying for Explain why the reference is important Suggest what information your teacher could put in the reference Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ..........
I am writing this letter for providing me letter of reference for the opening of a teacher in Saint John higher secondary school. This job opening is for a science teacher for secondary students in Saint john school. As it is mandatory for all job applicants to have a reference letter from a school teacher from the school where they had completed their school education.

the chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006

Anyone can post information on the Internet.Some people say most of what we read on the Internet is inaccurate,To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones (cellphones) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Others believe that it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give details of the job & position you are applying for Explain why the reference is important Suggest what information your teacher could put in the reference Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ..........