*The dangers and complexities of the modern world have made the mobile phone an absolute necessity for children* *To what extent do you agree or disagree?* Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge

The
harms
the state of being or appearing to be actively engaged in an activity
hums
, and complexities of
modern world
Suggestion
the modern world
has made mobile
device
absolute necessary for children. I agree with the given statement which says mobile phone is not necessary for
teenager
Suggestion
teenagers
the teenager
a teenager
. The
use
of mobile phones has become necessary for children,
however it
Accept comma addition
however, its
however its
result
to
distraction
. Children tend to be more distracted with phone leading to lack of focus.
For
example one
Accept comma addition
example, one
of
distraction
is playing games, the child
spend
Suggestion
spends
more time with their phones which
result
to
Suggestion
of
lack of focus.
Therefore it
Accept comma addition
Therefore, it
is obvious that
complex
Suggestion
the complex use
use
of mobile phone by children causes
distraction
.
Further more
in addition
Furthermore
, the unrestrictive
use
of mobile
device
has made many children to grow
wide
Suggestion
wider
in terms of technology and resulting
to
Suggestion
in
poor academic performance in school. Studies
have reveal
Suggestion
have revealed
that most children spend more time with their mobile
device
instead
of their books. Due to the
use
of internet the child
have
Suggestion
has
access to many unsafe videos, which
result
to stealing and lost of insight. So
therefore
the
use
of mobile phones has made many children
volnorable
susceptible to attack
vulnerable
to
harms
Suggestion
harm
and lack of focus in their studies which
result
to
Suggestion
of
in
low grade performance in their academics. Overall, the
use
l of mobile
device
should be restricted from children till they get
to certain
Suggestion
a certain age
age, and
also
to avoid
distraction
and lost of insight

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: