IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Zoos should be banned because it is cruel to keep wild animals in captivity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#zoos #animals #captivity
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Keeping animals in captivity should be forbidden because it is considered unfair and brutal. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion, though several advantages of keeping animals in zoos effectively exist. Animals need to live in their natural habitats,
although
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 some of them may benefit, in a way, from their confinement.
In addition
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, keeping certain animal species in zoos may enhance their understanding, as well as
prevent
Suggestion
prevents
 the danger of their extinction. All animals need to live in
wilderness
Suggestion
the wilderness
a wilderness
.
Firstly
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, they may suffer from living in places other than their natural habitats. Captivity, in fact, might lead to dramatically change their usual habits.
Therefore
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, animals kept in zoos might suffer from not having the opportunity of breeding, migrating and hunting. Despite the above mentioned disadvantages, some of them may
also
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 benefit from their captivity. Indeed, captive animals are generally looked after and treated very well by a team of biologists, veterinarians and other professional figures. In
this
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 regard, they are regularly fed and watered,
thus
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 providing them with specific diets on the basis of their needs.
Furthermore
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, keeping certain animals in zoos would enhance their understanding and safeness. In fact, it would help many scientists to better understand their habits, behaviours, and physical healths.
Also
Linking Words
, it would potentially lead endangered species to be preserved within a safer zone, without the hazards of a natural environment (e.g.
pollution
Suggestion
Pollution
, hunters). Zoos are generally considered brutal places because animals are locked up, and
thus
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 it should be allowed to make
them
of them or themselves
their
 living in
wilderness
Suggestion
the wilderness
. Notwithstanding, these places are not to be considered as
cruels
(of persons or their actions) able or disposed to inflict pain or suffering
cruel
cures
 as it is commonly believed. Animals would benefit from a variety of things
by
Suggestion
from
 living in zoos, which are
instead
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 not ensured in their natural habitats.
Submitted by amegiorgio on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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