The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they travelled abroad and why they travelled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period.
While
the first chart gives an information
about Remove the article
information
a piece of information
survey
results which taken
from a Add a missing verb
were taken
cross section
of hundred Add a hyphen
cross-section
respondents
asking about the purpose
of their travel, the second
chart provides information about their destinations of visits by main region. The survey
was taken between 1994 and 1998 in both chart
.
Change to a plural noun
charts
Overall
, it is obviously
that most of Replace the word
obvious
respondents
travel abroad Add an article
the respondents
with
a Change preposition
for
holiday
purpose
and Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
also
goes
to the countries of Correct subject-verb agreement
go
the
Western Europe during the period when the Correct article usage
apply
survey
was held.
In the first table graph, almost th three quarters
of Add a hyphen
three-quarters
respondents
(15246) answered that the major reason for their travel was holiday
in 1994. Add an article
a holiday
This
main trend started to decrease from that year untill
Correct your spelling
until
next
year by about 4 Correct article usage
the next
thousand
people and reached at
just above 15 Change preposition
apply
thousand
. But the
following years, there was a slight increase in the Change preposition
in the
number
of tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
with
Change preposition
for
holiday
purpose
, and Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
in
the end year of the Change preposition
at
survey
, the number
reached at
above 20 Remove the preposition
apply
thousand
. Despite the holiday
purpose
, the reasons for business activity and visiting friends and families were more popular from
Change preposition
than
other kind
of reasons. In 1994, the travelled UK citizens with business and visiting relatives Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
purpose
were just above (3155) and under 3 Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
thousand
(2689), respectively. Then
the marginal growth was
Unnecessary verb
apply
occured
continually in the Correct your spelling
occurred
number
of people who travelled with
these purposes mentioned above during the Change preposition
for
next
years, and for business, the figure almost reached at
4 Remove the preposition
apply
thousand
, and for visiting relatives, it outweighted
3 Correct your spelling
outweighed
thousand
. There was also
a
Correct article usage
apply
respondents
whose travelling Change the noun form
respondent
purpose
was different, and the number
of these kind
of people Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
was fluctuated
along Change to the active voice
fluctuated
thousand
during the Correct article usage
the thousand
survey
period.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, next".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words survey, respondents, purpose, holiday, thousand, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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