IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You have recently ordered an item through the Internet, but are not happy with the purchase. Write to the company. In your letter: – describe what you purchased, – explain why you are not happy with the purchase, – tell them what you would like them to do about the situation. Dear Sir or Madam,

#item #internet #purchase #company #situation #sir #madam
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in order to express my dissatisfaction with the goods that I bought because I got a
smart watch
Correct your spelling
smartwatch
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. The first problem is the product I received was out of order and it was not prepacked well. To make matters worse, your employees do not work properly. Afterwards, I decided to find out about your company. When I interviewed many people about your company, they had negative reactions to your business. I am not at all pleased with that item.
In addition
 to
this
, the delivery service is good.
However
, the item is unusable. You can raise products and prepacked. I advise you to fire the employees who are not working well in the company and get new employees
instead
. And I recommend hiring a better product quality control staff. But I would be grateful if you could give me a full refund money now. I look forward to receiving your explanation of that problem. Yours sincerely, Xalilov Umar
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences that are relevant. Avoid multiple topics in a single paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Include an appropriate greeting and closing; these are adequate, but ensure they suit the context of the letter.
task achievement
Focus on the specific purchase problem, avoid veering into broader criticism about the company's staff unless directly related to the purchase issue.
task achievement
Maintain a formal tone consistent with the letter format; suggestions of firing employees is not suitable in this context and tone.
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