IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

#people #children #time #families #arguments #side #support
We cannot deny that the family is an important part for children.
Although
 there are some advantages pointing out that children should spend almost their break moment with their families, I think that spending an excessive date has unimportant or even led to some long-term consequences. On the one hand, there are several reasons why children should spend much present to stay with their parents.
Firstly
, it helps the children to learn about their family culture and discipline. In fact, as parents, have a great influence on children’s lifestyles, they will educate children about family tradition and proper behaviour.
Secondly
, children will not come under the influence of outsiders and will not learn bad habits from others people.
For instance
, many Vietnamese students nowadays tend to behave because they witness negative actions of others and learn from them.
On the other hand
, if children should spend point exclusively with the family,
this
 will result in some negative impacts.
First
, kids can lose the chance to go out discover more new things around them.
For example
, if children only stay at home with their parents,
this
 will limit their knowledge about the world outside.
Second
, by just using their generation with their family, children will not able to make and exposure to more new friends and people. In order words,
this
 will prevent children from having relationship and learning some life skills
such
 as communication skills, social skills, etc. In conclusion, while the idea that children should spend all of their past with their family has some benefits, I would believe that the opinion children should use their
second
 outside is much better.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: