IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that unpaid community activity service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children.) To what extent do you agree or degree?

#people #community #activity #service #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
Students are the future of the nation, a well-educated individual doesn’t mean only securing high grades, but
also
 have a working experience. I agree that free community service should be included in a high
school
 program which will satiate their career requirements. Voluntary services are of importance of paramount importance for the betterment of the society and that without any monetary advantage. High
school
 programs are devised to gain theoretical knowledge of numerous subjects, injecting a charity programs in academic gives flair to their persona.
F
irstly it
Accept comma addition
Firstly, it
enhances their mindset towards society as it deals with interaction with the actual world, helping the needy.
M
oreover it
Accept comma addition
Moreover, it
boosts the ability of students to work as an individual or a team, develop good organizational skills and garnish their curriculum vitae. Beyond
this
 it arrays humanity and love, working for a charity like an orphanage, old age homes or by volunteering in community activities like cleanliness awareness, aids high schools pass outs to be a responsible citizen. Which is why doing so has positive impacts on the society and students' prospects too. To illustrate
this
 there are clubs
such
 as WWF for nature which gives student awareness about the ecosystem and work in favour of sustaining it, providing plethora of benefits to the mankind and earth system.
Although
 inclusion of charitable service in academic has time constraints, and often students are flippant and may find extrinsic to include in high
school
 who are naïve about its moral fecundity. With the affluent students it may sound drudgery, and detriments the subordinates.
Hence
 compulsion of
such
 volunteer service could deliver optimal results. To conclude, I agree with including unpaid public activities in high schools, helps students to develop their aptitude in an actual working structure. It boosts teamwork, leadership and organizational skills in a person,
hence
 it should be a compulsion in
school
 programs.
Submitted by savitaaspatel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: