IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will provide better care for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#parents #childcare #centres #services #children #age #members #grandparents #care #kids
In current hectic society, many parents spend the vast majority of their time by working,
thus
 they cannot allot enough time to their offsprings. As a consequence, some people think it is a reliable alternative to trust grandparents to take care of their children, whilst others opine that the best option is
childcare
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
Centers
. On the one hand,
caretaking
 is one of the most salient
part
Suggestion
parts
 of a child's growth and can be well undertaken by other family members like grandparents or uncle and aunt. It is
also
 indisputable that the upbringing of a child under grandparents is highly rich in cultural, traditional and ritual parts. The kids
grown
Suggestion
are grown
have grown
grew
 up under their grandparents have more respect to their family and relatives
,
Accept space
,
hence
 the
caretaking
 of children under blood relatives is
unquestionable
Suggestion
unquestionably
 and highly beneficial in order to strengthen and enhance family relationships between kids and other family members.
On the other hand
, the manifest boons of
childcare
Suggestion
child care
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 cannot
also
 be refuted.
First
 and foremost, the professionals in these
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 have required qualifications to bring up a child,
therefore
 it is more effortless for them to ascertain both mental and physical problems of kids.
Furthermore
, in
childcare
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
, children have a lot of
oppotunities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
 to socialize and hone their communication skills by interacting with each other. To cite an example, kids from various nationalities can easily gain knowledge about one another's culture by communicating in these
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 which, in turn
,
Accept space
,
 would make them a more intelligent person in the future. To sum up,
although
 there are some obvious edges of children being raised by their own family members, I believe it is a better choice to send them to
childcare
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: