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Band 7.5

Today more people are overweight than ever before.What in your opinion are the primary causes of this?What are the main effects of this epidemic?

#people #effects #epidemic
Nowadays, the number of overweight people is significantly increasing due to the advanced technology and loss of productivity. Being overweight will
cause
 an effect on health and people’s surrounding. There are many causes of overweight and
also
 plenty of bad consequences following. In my opinion, overweight caused by the lack of exercise, unhealthy eating habits, and laziness. Our world has become more advanced each day, which affects people’s lives in a good and a bad way.
For instance
, food can be ordered through online applications and will deliver to your house. It may be convenient from
time
 to
time but
Accept comma addition
time, but
 it can
also
 put the customer at a high risk of
obesity
. People
also
 tend to go to fast-food restaurants more often than the walk-in restaurants because it is faster and cheaper.
For example
, people are busy with office work or academic work, which they do not have enough
time
 to prepare healthy meals so they would want to purchase something
that is
 quick and inexpensive.
Moreover
, fast-food restaurants have services called drive-thru, which means that customers can order and pick up foods by cars. Driving cars to places has resulted in a reduction of exercise because it has allowed customers to drive
instead
 of walking. Being overweight will be followed up with negative consequences
such
 as diseases and side effects from the disease as well.
Firstly
,
obesity
 will put you at a high risk of diabetes or heart attack caused by a large amount of body fat that has been collected for a long period of
time
.
Secondly
, being overweight can
cause
 stress, anxiety, tiredness. In conclusion,
obesity
 has become one of the biggest problems in society due to inactive lifestyles. Nowadays, people chose to use transportations
instead
 of walking and
also
 use advanced technology to order food from home. All of these habits have become severely common but will
cause
 a negative effect in the future.
Obesity
 can
cause
 diabetes, heart attack, stress, or anxiety, which it is being said that
obesity
 is a very unhealthy condition.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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