Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .
In today’s world, we can find a lot of competition in several places in jobs, school and everyday soul. Few individuals believe that it has a positive impact on society.
On the other
hand
some citizens reckon everyone should assist each other. Add a comma
hand,
This
essay will argue former arguments and my view inline.
On the one hand, the competition between youths at work, in institutions, and in daily life, is positive to make them more productive and increase their efficiency. As per the research done by several agencies worldwide, the people who work in such
environments where they have feelings of rivalry with others become more productive, recognized, and get higher growth in their careers.
Moreover
, companies earn more profit by creating a competitive environment at the workplace with minimum labour and maximum productivity. The students also
get more benefits for their target achievements in examinations.
On the flip side, fighting beyond the limit for individuals becomes the root cause of accidents and failures in activity. They feel demoralized if they do not meet or beat the target achieved by other opponents. For instance
, in virtue of higher fight, many people at production and pupils in educational establishments struggle to achieve the targets created by opponents and ignore the rules of security and health, which lead to accidents. Due to
such
a competitive situation, it becomes a difficult task for freshers to survive in the market. To mitigate these consequences, seniors support their juniors in offices, schools and daily life. I ponder that we should create a competitive environment on behalf of individual knowledge and skills. So that they can achieve smoothly without putting health in danger.
In conclusion, creating surroundings of competency in the workplace, in schools, and in daily life, is good for everyone to become a better version of themselves every day. However
, the
race creates the compulsion for everyone to perform beyond their capacity and meet cumbersome targets by risking physical and mental health. To solve these issues, seasoned people should assist freshers or new joiners.Correct article usage
apply
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introduction conclusion present
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly outline the purpose of the essay and the main points to be discussed. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the key points and restate the writer's opinion.
logical structure
Enhance logical structure and flow by using clear topic sentences and signposting throughout the essay (e.g., 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' 'On the other hand'). This will help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points, making your arguments more convincing. For instance, instead of saying 'several agencies worldwide,' mention a specific study or agency to add credibility.
supported main points
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well-supported. Sometimes the argumentation feels general and could benefit from more in-depth development.
complete response
You have clearly addressed both views on the topic, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay covers several relevant points, indicating a thorough understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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