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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe schools should teach children lessons about how to handle money. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #children #lessons #money
It is considered by some persons that educational establishment should ensure that children are tutored on handling
money
. In my opinion, I strongly disagree that offsprings should be shown the way on how to control
money
 because, it mi
ght led t
Suggestion
might lead
o failure in
school
 and peer pressure. To start with, the
first
 aspect parents must focus on is the educational pursuit of a
child
.
This
 involves ensuring a
child
 excel in his or her studies by monitoring the curricular activities of the
school
 to know the impact on the
child
. Teaching a
child
 on how to handle
money
 at a tender age is completely wrong because it will lead the progeny astray thereby instilling wrong impact on them. To illustrate, I was opportune to conduct a seminar on moral behaviours in
school
, I realised that 50% of the questionnaires distributed portends that the students were already exposed to the love of
money
.
This
as a result
 will influence innocent children in the
school
. Another point to itemise is that, it allows young boys and girls to yield to bad associations among their peers.
This
 implies that,
such
 a
child
 will begin to look for a means of making
money
 to meet up with the fashion in vogue.
For instance
, my 10year ol
d n
Suggestion
oldest
older
iece who recently visited us during
th
ird term holiday w
Suggestion
the third term holiday
as fascinated on
s
Suggestion
with
ome things I got for my children which her parents might not be able to afford. The adverse effect of
this
 is that, the unnecessary demand will be to
m
to a degree exceeding normal or proper limits
too
uch on the parents. To conclude, the aftermath effect of children being exposed to
mo
ney m
a quantifier that can be used with count nouns and is often preceded by 'as' or 'too' or 'so' or 'that'; amounting to a large but indefinite number
many
ight be detrimental to their studies and could cause pr
ecarious effect o
Suggestion
precarious effects
a precarious effect
the precarious effect
n the other children.
Submitted by adeolaawoyelu on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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