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Some believed that spending time with family and friends is the best while others believe that time should rather be spent on career improvement. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#time #friends #career #improvement
Family and friends
is
Suggestion
are
 a unit of people that have
common
Suggestion
a common relationship
relationship
 together and one of the mutual
relationship
 they share together is
time
. Some people opine that allocating
time
 with family and friends is of great importance while others believe that
time
 should be expended on occupational growth. I agree that
use
Suggestion
the use
 of
time
 should be apportioned to relatives and close friends. On the one hand, some people are of the opinion that utilising
time
 on
career
 is beneficial in life. One of the reasons for
this
 claim is that, there are retirement benefits
that is
 attached after spending many years in an office.
In addition
, an employee enjoys promotion after some years of working with an organisation.
For example
, an organisation where I
work
Suggestion
have been working
 with recently reviewed its occupational benefits for its staffs that has worked for 5years.
This
 is part of
career
 growth that
add
Suggestion
adds
 up to spending
time
 in an organisation.
Secondly
, utilising
time
 in a
career
 development, connects an individual to substantial people in which ordinarily might be difficult to have a
relationship
 with.
Similarly its
Accept comma addition
Similarly, its
 promotes recommendation in which a boss can decide to transfer
such
 individual to supervise another branch.
Therefore
 dedicating
time
 in
ones
Suggestion
one
one's
 job brings about
good result
Suggestion
a good result
good results
.
On the other hand
, other people suggested that utilising
time
 with family and friends is the best and I concur. One of them is that they are reliable.
In other words
, getting
supports
Suggestion
support
 from family and friends is
essential especially
Accept comma addition
essential, especially
 in
time
 of trouble.
This
 could be financial and physical supports. To illustrate, a relative of mine was sacked and the only place he could get help was from his relatives. In essence keeping ensuring a good
relationship
 with
ones
Suggestion
one
one's
 family promote peace and love.
Also having
Accept comma addition
Also, having
 a cordial
relationship
 and spending much
time
 with family and friends promotes peace in the society.
This
 is because, no one would envy each others progress and it would
also
 allow each
persons
Suggestion
person
 to render help
easily
Suggestion
ease
 without returns. In conclusion, in as much as some people supports allocating
time
 to
career
, I concede that expending
time
 with family and friends is paramount.
Submitted by adeolaawoyelu on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bonding
  • nurturing
  • emotional support
  • quality time
  • connectedness
  • memorable experiences
  • networking
  • skill development
  • career progression
  • financial security
  • contribution
  • fulfillment
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