Some people say that the fashion industry is bad for the environment, as it encourages consumers to buy new clothes all the time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is argued that the
fashion
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industry
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damages the environment by encouraging
consumers
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to purchase new
clothes
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frequently. I largely agree with
this
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view because the
industry
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’s marketing and production models promote unnecessary consumption.
However
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,
consumers
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should
also
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bear some responsibility for the environmental consequences of their shopping choices.
Body paragraph 1
Admittedly, the
fashion
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industry
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has a negative impact on the environment through aggressive marketing strategies. By constantly introducing new collections and presenting existing
clothes
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as outdated, companies encourage
consumers
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to replace their
clothes
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frequently.
This
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creates excessive demand and leads manufacturers to produce garments on a massive scale. The production of cheap fast-
fashion
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items consumes substantial amounts of water and energy and may
also
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release harmful chemicals into rivers.
Moreover
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, low-quality garments are often discarded after being worn only a few times, increasing the amount of textile waste sent to landfills.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, the
fashion
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industry
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should not be regarded as the only cause of
this
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problem, as consumer behaviour
also
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sustains the cycle of excessive production and waste. If shoppers choose durable clothing and resist every new
fashion
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trend, manufacturers will have less incentive to produce
such
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large quantities of
clothes
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.
Similarly
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, growing demand for sustainably produced garments may encourage companies to use recycled materials and adopt cleaner manufacturing methods.
Consumers
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can
therefore
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either strengthen or reduce the environmental impact of the
industry
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through their purchasing decisions.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I largely agree that the
fashion
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industry
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is environmentally harmful because it actively promotes frequent consumption.
Nevertheless
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,
consumers
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also
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contribute to the problem, so both companies and shoppers need to change their behaviour.

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task response
Your view is clear: you mostly agree, but you also show that buyers play a part. To make the answer even stronger, say more clearly why the fashion industry has the bigger part than buyers.
task response
Add one more real or clear example. For example, explain how making one item of clothing can use a lot of water, or how old clothes can be sent to rubbish sites.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and a clear end. Keep this plan in future writing.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words work well. You could make the link between the two body parts even smoother by saying that buyers are part of the problem, but companies first create the need to buy more.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part stays on one idea. In the first main part, you could put the waste point closer to the point about cheap, low-quality clothes, as these ideas are closely linked.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and keep your main view from the start to the end.
task response
The points about ads, new styles, mass making, water use, and rubbish clearly support your view.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow: industry action, then buyer action, then a short final view.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Moreover”, “Nevertheless”, “Similarly”, and “therefore” help the reader follow the argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast fashion
  • mass production
  • environmental degradation
  • textile industry
  • water pollution
  • carbon emissions
  • synthetic fibers
  • buy-and-discard culture
  • landfill
  • decompose
  • sustainable fashion
  • eco-friendly
  • natural resources
  • chemical treatment
  • second-hand stores
  • thrift stores
  • fashion consumption
  • ecological impact
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