IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, entertainers get paid more than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is this a negative or positive development?

#entertainers #politicians #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In these
days entertainers
Accept comma addition
days, entertainers
 getting
high wage
Suggestion
higher wages
higher wage
a higher wage
 than politicians. My personal
openion
a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty
opinion
opinions
 in
this
Linking Words
 case is it is a positive development
for
Suggestion
of
 our
society
Use synonyms
, because politics should not be the source to earn more
money
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, due to the development of technology media has
became
Suggestion
become
 more popular early in the 1920s when cinema was introduced
,
Accept space
,
 which was not much impact to the people. After the invention of television, in 1950s large number of people have impressed with the advent of television. In recent days most of the celebrities
,
Accept space
,
such
Linking Words
 as actors, musicians, directors are earning
money
Use synonyms
 in
crores
Suggestion
.
For instance
Linking Words
, actor
vijay
Suggestion
Vijay
, music director
a
expresses position, direction or location, or point in time
at
.
r
Suggestion
R
rahman who
Accept comma addition
Rahman, who
Rahman who
are most wll known
Suggestion
is most well known
are most well known
 persons in
kolywood
Suggestion
 industry.
when
Suggestion
When
 their movie release massive crowd will come to the
theater
a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented
theatre
 and paid
money
Use synonyms
 to buy tickets.
On the other
Linking Words
hand politicians
Accept comma addition
hand, politicians
 do not get high salary for their work
,
Accept space
,
 which is good
fr
appropriate to; intended for
for
 our
society
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
because
Suggestion
Because
 they must do their job for people and their work depend on the people and
society
Use synonyms
.
politics
Suggestion
Politics
should not
Accept comma addition
should, not
 the way to earn
money
Use synonyms
,
that is
Linking Words
 of a country.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
example some
Accept comma addition
example, some
 of the politicians
dedicates
Suggestion
dedicate
 their contribution to the development of their country. In conclusion,
reason
Suggestion
the reason
 behind the high wages of celebrities are their involvement in job and pleasure of the people. If politics is the way of
earn
Suggestion
earning
 huge amount of salary many problems will occur in our
society
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as corruption.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: