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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than that of young people in many countries in the future? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? And what will be effects on society?

#proportion #people #countries #future #development #effects #society
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A significant
increase
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 in
life
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expectancy
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 in many developing countries is a topic of concern.
This
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 essay will highlight some of the key issues of
this
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 issue and suggest possible approaches to reduce the adverse effects of an aging
population
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.
Firstly
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, one of the major challenges of the growing elderly
population
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 is that it places a heavy burden on the health responsibility system. A large budget for health care is set by the
government
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 to serve the needs of the aging
population
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. Older people are more susceptible to old age conditions,
such
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 as heart attacks or osteoarthritis diseases, which require special medical treatment to be effectively treated. Another problem facing a rising
life
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expectancy
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 is an
increase
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 in the proportion of retired people, and a reduction in the proportion of people of working age who are subject to income tax. Higher pension payments and lower tax revenues of the
government
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's economy can seriously impact spending.
On the other hand
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, the
government
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 can take a series of measures to cope with the problems of increasing
life
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expectancy
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. The
first
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 it is important to educate people about the importance of managing money and saving for retirement.
This
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 way, when people reach retirement age, they will have a certain amount of money to take care of themselves without having to depend on children or the
government
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.
Finally
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, solution is to
increase
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 the importance of the private sector in providing health care and pensions.
This
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 will help reduce the burden of
government
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 spending. Another measure is to encourage the immigration of young people who are working, which can help
increase
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 tax revenues for the
government
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. In conclusion, the augmentation of average
life
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expectancy
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 in developed countries is creating some problems. The governments should have immediate and appropriate measures to
increase
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 the younger
population
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 in order to keep balance
on
Suggestion
of
in
 the society.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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