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Writing Samples
Band 7

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #outweigh
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Juvenile crime rates increase dramatically in recent years. Some of them have antisocial behaviours,
such
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 as destroy schools. When some teenagers do wrong things, they are punished to clean streets
instead
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 of sent to the jail. In
this
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 article, I intend to analyse
this
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 topic and give my opinion. I agree that children should get punished if they do the wrong thing, but just simply send them to lockup is not a good way.
To begin
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 with, sending children to penitentiary may lead to a serious impact on their future lives. To be more specific, after they go out of lockup, people may discriminate them and make them difficult to find a job. They may hard to find a job.
In addition
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, most young people are not really bad and harmful. If schools can educate them and teach them right behaviours, they will understand right or wrong during their growth.
Last
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 but not least, people should give a chance to juveniles to let them find the right path.
By contrast
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, everyone should have responsibility for their faults. If children break laws many times without regret, they should be sent to confinement.
Moreover
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, if children know they will not be sent to the penitentiary, some of them do do something insane,
such
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 as killing people. In conclusion, I agree that not to send children directly to lock up if they did the wrong things. But I assert that governments should introduce a specific law to juveniles, if they against
this
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 law in some situations, they may be sent to jail.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic composition
  • economic dynamism
  • dependency ratio
  • social services
  • pension systems
  • technological adeptness
  • innovative workforce
  • national savings
  • educational demand
  • employment opportunities
  • crime rates
  • economic disparity
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