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Band 4

Some people think that mobiles are harmful for children, while others disagree. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

#people #mobiles #children #side
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Mobiles have become an integral part of our lifestyle.
Although
 mobiles can provide every kind of information that child looks for, but as per my opinion, using it all the time can be hazardous. In
21st century
Suggestion
the 21st century
, the use of mobile has increased drastically.
Its
Suggestion
It's
 a technology which connects to all your loved ones
,
Accept space
,
 even those who are sitting at the other end of
world
Suggestion
the world
. It helps you collect information about anything in
this
 world just by a click. You can record videos by using the camera or you can listen to music whenever you want. It is
also
 a status symbol these days, costlier your phone is, better class you have in the society.
On the other hand
, people
also
 believe that mobiles are hazardous for our help. The radiations that come out of your phone can cause some serious health problems in
long run
Suggestion
the long run
. Children specially get addicted to mobiles and watching the mobile all the time can harm their eyes at
young age
Suggestion
a young age
. They get addicted to social media ultimately and do not play outdoor games, with time they lose interest in studies, resulting in
low
Suggestion
lower
 scores and bad health. As per my opinion, we should not give mobiles to children as there is
bigger chance
Suggestion
a bigger chance
 of getting it misused opposite to helping them in studying. We should communicate more in real with each other more, rather than talking on
phone
Suggestion
a phone
the phone
 as it will keep the relationship strong. In conclusion, mobiles are one of the best
invention
Suggestion
inventions
 that human has
made but
Accept comma addition
made, but
 over using it can be harmful for children. They should use it as a device to collect information from internet
instead
 of using it for socializing.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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