We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some
people
suppose that we should not make an effort to help those people
beyond our communities and should only pay attention to our own countries
. In my opinion, we still ought to care about those foreigners who are in need.
Some people
claim that those foreigners who need help do not live near us, so their difficulties are not our business. I do not agree with this
statement. Sometimes, natural disasters could impact neighbouring countries
, so helping those countries
which are bound by ours could help us as well. For example
, some countries
downstream of a turbulent lake would help their neighbours upstream build a dam, preventing their own country from floods caused by the heavy rain upstream. Besides
, those disasters happening in countries
nearby could affect our economic system as well, causing instability in the stock market and so on. As a result
, rescuing neighbourhood countries
could release the tension in their economy, reducing the negative impacts on our homeland.
In addition
, caring about those disasters happening in other countries
could also
bring benefits to our countries
. Our people
could learn some knowledge or skills when they rescue foreign victims, and it could help our countries
prevent or survive when the same kind of damage occurs in our country. For example
, Tzu-chi, which is a charity group in Taiwan, is involved in earthquake rescues in Japan and China, bringing back new methods to build shelters for victims. When Hualian suffered from an earthquake, Tzu-chi utilized the new skills and helped those victims build temporary shelters.
To sum up
, we should still extend a helping hand to those in need from other countries
, even though we cannot help all of them. At the end
of the day, helping others brings benefits back to ourselves.Submitted by aa0963178783 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas within paragraphs are logically sequenced. This will further improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Work on slightly expanding your range of vocabulary and sentence structures. While the essay is well-written and clear, using a broader variety of expressions can enhance the overall impact.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the main points, making the arguments compelling and concrete.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument in a coherent manner.