The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live.

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people

living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these

countries live.
The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
Correct your spelling
percentage
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
of the whole
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
population
in four countries
such
as
India
,
China
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
and
Japan
in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
1950 to 2003
also
prediction
Add an article
a prediction
show examples
for 2050 In 1950,
China
was the most
population
Replace the word
populated
show examples
region around the
world
registered
Wrong verb form
registering
show examples
23%,
While
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
population
registered 15% of the
world
and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
side people live in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
7% , but
Japan
only
Add a missing verb
had only
show examples
5
Add a missing verb
has 5
show examples
% less
population
in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
other area
Change the wording
another area
other areas
show examples
. In 2003,
India
Change noun form
India's
show examples
population
slightly incline
while
China
,America and
Japan
decline in the figure.
Whereas
,
china
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1950 to
2003
Change the article
the 2003
show examples
year
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the list and
India
second
Add a missing verb
was second
show examples
,
USA
third
Add a missing verb
was third
show examples
and
last
japan
Change preposition
in japan
show examples
.
China
apply
Change the verb form
applies
show examples
good law and rules in which her area and awareness
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
her people that reason saw
population
Add an article
a population
show examples
decrease in some year. In 2050,
India
is predicted to
population
slightly increased to nearly 20% and in
china
some
population
decrase
Correct your spelling
decrease
.
Japan
slightly fall in
population
in 2050 only3
%
Correct article usage
a %
show examples
prediction
and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
remain constant
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
2003 to 2050
prediction
.
Overall
,
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
start of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
china
Correct your spelling
highest
hihest
Correct your spelling
highest
population
in the
world
,
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
second
,
American
Replace the word
America
show examples
third
and
japan
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
but after
prediction
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
top in the chart
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
china
second
and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
japan
Correct word choice
and japan
show examples
last
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
till 2050 Sent from my iPhone

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, second, third, while".
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words world, population, india, china, usa, japan, prediction with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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