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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays,more and more people are choosing to live in apartments in the city centre,rather than houses in the suburbs.What are some of the benefits and drawbacks of living in an apartment in the centre of the city?Do the advamtages outweigh the disadvantage?

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Introduction
An increasing number of individuals today are opting to live in apartments in the city centre
instead
Linking Words
 of houses in the countryside.
Although
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 dealing with
traffic
Use synonyms
 and the higher costs of renting or buying accommodation are downsides of living in the town, I believe that the advantages of having more activities to choose from,
as well as
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 greater career opportunities, outweigh the disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, living in the town centre provides residents with convenient access to a wide range of activities within walking distance. Restaurants, cafés, cinemas, shops and museums are often concentrated in these zones, allowing people to enjoy more entertainment without having to travel far.
Moreover
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, living centrally can provide better access to professional opportunities, as many businesses and financial districts are located in these areas, making commuting to work easier.
For instance
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, many multinational companies, government bodies and major banks operate in Riyadh’s central financial and digital districts, encouraging fresh graduates from across the country to move into nearby apartments in search of employment.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, living in the city centre can mean dealing with constant
traffic
Use synonyms
 and overcrowding.
Due to
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 the high concentration of businesses, apartment buildings and hotels, these zones attract large numbers of residents, workers and tourists, resulting in heavier
traffic
Use synonyms
 than in the suburbs, where fewer people tend to travel through.
Furthermore
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, the high demand for centrally located accommodation can make living there considerably more expensive, even when apartments offer less space than suburban houses.
For instance
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, the average monthly rent for an apartment in Manhattan, New York City, can , in some cases, be higher than the cost of renting a house in less densely populated areas
such
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 as Texas.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 city-centre living can result in heavier
traffic
Use synonyms
 and higher accommodation costs, I believe that the greater career opportunities and wider range of activities available outweigh these disadvantages.

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task response
You answer all parts of the question. To make your view even stronger, say more clearly why jobs and things to do are more important than high cost and traffic for most people.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and stay on the topic. Add one more short detail about how city jobs can save time or help people build their work life.
task response
Your examples fit well. Be careful with the New York and Texas example: Texas is a very large place, so name one city or area for a more exact comparison.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and a clear end. The order of ideas is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has one clear focus. Keep this strong plan: point, reason, then example.
coherence and cohesion
Use joining words such as “also”, “because”, “however”, and “as a result” in a natural way. Do not add too many, as your links are already clear.
coherence and cohesion
Check small writing details that can slow the reader down, such as the extra space before the comma in “can , in some cases”.
task response
You give a clear answer: the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
The ideas about fun places, work, traffic, and cost are all useful and well chosen.
coherence and cohesion
The first paragraph tells the reader what both main parts will discuss and gives your view.
coherence and cohesion
The use of “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Moreover”, and “Furthermore” helps the reader follow the essay.
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