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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

2.Is it better for people to live in the same place all their lives or to live in different places? Give reasons and examples to support your views.

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It has been estimated that 45% of people travel 4x a year.
However
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 have you thought about the troubles
one
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 has to face just to travel to a different
country
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? While you can get better and more developed jobs by moving
place
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 to
place
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, it is better to stay in
one
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place
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 because married people who have kids cannot to
move
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 frequently, the unity of a
community
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 is disturbed, and the
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 itself is very expensive
.
Accept space
.
Countries which are not considered safe have to go through multiple procedures just to visit a
country
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 which makes the process tiring.
First
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, it is better to stay in
one
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place
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 because people who are married and have kids find it hard to
move
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 frequently. When
one
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 is married more things need to be considered like their child’s health, education and would moving to
this
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 certain
place
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 even benefit them? Visiting countries just for
thrill
Suggestion
thrills
the thrill
 can be
exciting but
Accept comma addition
exciting, but
 for these people, it is hard to just
move
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 because their priorities become their children. Think about
it would
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it, would
 you be willing to
move
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 into an entirely different
country
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 just for a change of environment knowing that your child’s life will be affected?
Yes some
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Yes, some
 of you might consider
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this but
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this, but
 that must be because you do not have any kids “Happiness is having a
large loving
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large, loving
 caring family”
this
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 phrase by George burns must be noted since it explains how even the most successful people consider family as the greatest source of joy.
Traveling
Suggestion
Travelling
 won’t make you fin
love but
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love, but
 the comfort of your family might.
Additionally
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, the unity of a
community
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 is
also
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 disturbed by moving places too much. When you stay in
one
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place
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 you make yourself part of a
community
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 which strengthens your bond. Your
community
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 will be with you in your hard times as well as your joyful times. Whichever
community
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 you belong to
that is
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 what will represent you.
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However if
Accept comma addition
However, if
 you keep moving too
much you
Accept comma addition
much, you
 won’t be able to form a bond with anyone and there will be no
one
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 person you can trust.
That is
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 why it is important to stay in
one
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place
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 so that there are people who can help you.
Finally
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, it is better to stay in
one
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place
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 because
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 is very expensive. Plane tickets, buying food, buying clothes, shopping all
this
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 becomes very expensive and to budget
this
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 all
also
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 becomes problematic. When you
move
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country
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 by
country
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 you do not have a qualified job and your earnings are
also
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 very low
this
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 means that not many companies would be willing to hire you
hence
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 to afford your travel becomes hard. It should
also
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 be kept in mind those countries which are not considered safe need to go through multiple procedures just to verify themselves as a safe person.
This
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 often takes 8 months minimum.
Therefore
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 is it even logical to spend so much money and patience just to have a change of environment? It is true that moving from
place
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 to
place
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 does allow you to see new cultures experience more things and learn new
languages
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languages, however
however
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 the real question is are you willing to go through all
this
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 hustle to visit a new
place
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 that might not even welcome you?
Thus
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, while you can get better and more developed jobs by moving
place
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 to
place
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, it is better to stay in
one
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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