IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting universities. Discuss the advantages.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #universities
It
has be considered
Suggestion
is considered
was considered
 in some nations of the world to motivates grown ups to get a job or embark on a one year journey in between secondary establishment and at the initial level and the Tertiary institution. The benefits are, it expose the individual on how to be independent and
face
Suggestion
facing
 challenges in school
also
 its an added advantage for
such
 a person when he or she eventually get
to
Suggestion
into
 the labour market. To start with, the essence of being responsible at work or embark on a journey is an avenue to ascertain ones strength and weaknesses.
This
 simply means the ability to
carryout
Suggestion
carry out
 a task without being supervised shows how strong the person is.
For
example some
Accept comma addition
example, some
 parents have realised the impact of their children doing a part time job just before the commencement
ofa
connects a noun with the preceding word
of
 study.
Moreover
, it
also
 exposes a candidate on what the outside portrays.
As a result
, the student eventually performs better in class and manages himself financially. Another point to highlight is that its allows
such
 youth to achieve
a
Suggestion
an
 outstanding
achievements
Suggestion
achievement
 which in reality might not be able experience.
For
example
Accept comma addition
example, such
such
 a juvenile would be seen winning awards in school.
In addition
, it makes it easier for the child to get a job easily the immediately after graduating. To illustrate, graduate that has 2years experience as a doctor would be considered for r
a
Suggestion
an
 activity opening than a graduate without no experience. In conclusion, the merit of a student who is dutiful in a profession or that tries to get exposed while travelling has a positive impact in the society influence
Submitted by adeolaawoyelu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: