The graph below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The three

chart

Change to a plural noun

charts

show examples

compares between kinds of

music

Use synonyms

albums

that

Linking Words

Change the verb form

are

show examples

chosen

Change preposition

apply

show examples

according to

Linking Words

age and gender in England. It is clearly seen that the amount large of males are more likely to spend more money than females on three types of

music

Use synonyms

Rock

Use synonyms

is one of the most popular categories

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

suitable

Add a missing verb

is suitable

show examples

for buyers from 16 to 44

years

Use synonyms

old and purchasing classical

music

Use synonyms

albums

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

mostly over 45

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

According to

Linking Words

the age group,

rock

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

preffered

Correct your spelling

preferred

by 25 to 34

years

Use synonyms

, around 30%, followed by pop

music

Use synonyms

and classical ones respectively. 16 to 24

years

Use synonyms

old British bought 29%

Use synonyms

rock

Change preposition

of rock

show examples

music

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

their percentage for buying classical

music

Use synonyms

significant

Change the adjective

significantly

show examples

less, only 1%. But a completely different trend can be observed among the British over 45

years

Use synonyms

who

prefered

Correct your spelling

preferred

classical over pop and

rock

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

. Among the 35 to 44

years

Use synonyms

age group chose 25%

for

Change preposition

show examples

both

rock

Use synonyms

and pop,

approximately

Correct word choice

and approximately

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

classical

music

Use synonyms

thuynguyen17022001Fri Mar 20 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words music, rock, years with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

161 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some countries invest a significant amount of money in promoting the use of bicycles. why do you think this is the case? Does it have a positive or negative impact on individuals and the society?
In several nations, there is a noticeable investment in more environment-friendly means of transportation, particularly bicycles. The writer of this essay, in light of this, contends that this is due to the rising awareness of severely damaged environments among individuals, while it is readily beneficial for improving their health conditions.
7.5
band
in the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. the only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
As driverless technology is mature in our generation, public transportation without divers such as buses and trucks can be exerted shortly. In my point of view, though, there are few doubting voices over this issue, I think the idea of driverless buses and trucks is beneficial for our safety more than the potential risks it may bring.
6
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if the wish. Discus both these views and give your opinion.
A highly controversial issue today relates to whether to have parents’ collaborate in their juveniles’ school activities or not. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view and then give my own perspective on the matter.
6.5
band
In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?
Whether in this modern globe, each person should possess a mobile phone is a recurring argument. The writer contends that the benefits of connecting humans and exploring knowledge outweigh the drawbacks of personal harassment and children can approach bad information.
6.5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some university students today do not only attend classes in their main subjects but also in additional ones. Meanwhile, others devote all their time and attention to fulfilling a relevant qualification. While learning about extracurricular subjects offers opportunities to practice an array of skills, the main subjects should always be given priority since it is their main study area.

The graph below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.

Some countries invest a significant amount of money in promoting the use of bicycles. why do you think this is the case? Does it have a positive or negative impact on individuals and the society?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if the wish. Discus both these views and give your opinion.

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.