Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition.what is your opinion ?

It is believed by
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
people that rough
sports
for example
boxing and martial arts should be banned from Television and international sporting events.
However
, I believe that
such
sporting activities are for fun and recreation and should be conducted under strict supervision and guidelines. With regards to sporting events, which involve aggression and
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of energy are conducted to imbibe the characteristics of initiatives, leadership and self-confidence.
However
, during the play and because of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
nature of the game,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
people get hurt in
act
Add an article
the act
show examples
,
that is
why there are international norms and
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
under which these types of
sports
are conducted.
Moreover
, apart from fun and joy, participation in
sports
are matter of choice. These
sports
can not be banned because an element of danger is involved,
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
it would be construed against the fundamental rights of individuals.
On the other hand
, it cannot be denied that many
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
times adults copy violent acts from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
games and Television
broadcast
Fix the agreement mistake
broadcasts
show examples
to implement in real life and get injured.
For example
,
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
years ago many children imitated the act of their favorite action character and harmed themselves. At
last
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
had to intervene to off-air the program.
Adult
Add an article
The adult
show examples
mind is raw and receptive to all
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
they watch or practice, here it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
very imperative on the part of parents and authorities to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness about the risk involved and
precautions
Correct article usage
the precautions
show examples
to be adopted.
To conclude
,
although
sporting activities are good for the
overall
personality development of individuals ,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
these activities should be performed under the guidance and supervision of
trained
Correct article usage
a trained
show examples
coach
Fix the agreement mistake
coaches
show examples
to avoid any mishappening.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: