IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweighs the disadvantages?

#museums #art #galleries #charge #admission #fees #entry
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true
thata
Suggestion
that a
Use synonyms
muesms
a depository for collecting and displaying objects having scientific or historical or artistic value
museums
 and art galleries are
essital
absolutely necessary; vitally necessary
essential
 role in every
country
Use synonyms
.Nowadays in many countries
histrical
of or relating to the study of history
historical
historically
 places good
tourist
Use synonyms
 attractions because they learn about
differnt culture
Suggestion
different cultures
different culture
 in visit in different countries.These
days many
Accept comma addition
days, many
 amusement places take charge fees.
Linking Words
However other
Accept comma addition
However, other
 places have no take money
theygive
Suggestion
They give
Theygive
 the free entry.I would discuss about
postive
characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty etc.
positive
 of taxes
outweigh
Suggestion
outweighs
negtive effects
Suggestion
the negative effects
negative effects
 in my ideas. Looking towards the
postive
characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty etc.
positive
 effects, in modern there are
number
Suggestion
a number
 of
Use synonyms
muesms
a depository for collecting and displaying objects having scientific or historical or artistic value
museums
 have
take
Suggestion
taken
 charge fees because they increase the
Use synonyms
country
Suggestion
country's
 economy.
Secondely
Suggestion
Secondly
,
Accept space
,
in historical buildings with decorated with
luxury
Suggestion
luxurious
 materials
which
Suggestion
Which
 they have very expensive as well as in art galleries some pictures are very important which they show
country
Use synonyms
ol
Suggestion
culuture
a particular society at a particular time and place
culture
.
Accept space
.
So government should take
law
Suggestion
the law
 and rules on big
muesm
a depository for collecting and displaying objects having scientific or historical or artistic value
museum
 take
charege
to make a rush at or sudden attack upon, as in battle
charge
courage
 to visitors
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
 example
,
Accept space
,
they
using
Suggestion
use
are using
 the money on
Use synonyms
muesms
a depository for collecting and displaying objects having scientific or historical or artistic value
museums
 and other
tourist
Use synonyms
placeas
Suggestion
place as
 to improve the
repution
the state of being held in high esteem and honor
reputation
reporting
 of historical places
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
more other reasons of
Use synonyms
muesms
a depository for collecting and displaying objects having scientific or historical or artistic value
museums
 and art galleries
,
Accept space
,
mostly generated entry fees can be used in
internal
happening or arising or located within some limits or especially surface
Internal
 and external security improvements and giving the new facilities to
tourist
Use synonyms
 people other the
tourist
Use synonyms
 have visit for other countries they give the good feedbacks to
Use synonyms
muesms
a state of confusion and disorderliness
mess
 in social media
.
Accept space
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
free
negtive
characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features
negative
 points the lack of security problems and some time people have
damage
Suggestion
damaged
 the glasses and doors of museums because there have no any security or number of less employers bad
effect
Suggestion
effects
 in
tourist
Use synonyms
 places.
to
Suggestion
To
 sum up, it is clear that
,
Accept space
,
charging admission fees because they increase
country
Use synonyms
 income and more
benfit
financial assistance in time of need
benefit
benefits
 to
goverment
Suggestion
the government
government
. aPersonally, free entry people can damage the government property because number of securety problems

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: