Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Suggestion

the present time,

famouns

widely known and esteemed

famous

people are more popular for their charm and prosperity than their

hardwork

Suggestion

hard work

, which portraits a negative example for the youngsters.

This

essay agrees with the

aforementione

being the one previously mentioned or spoken of

aforementioned

statement.

This

essay will

first

, discuss, that youngsters are more attracted to their beauty and

thus

undertake harmful activities and

further

, outline that they follow

thei

definite article

the

their

bad habits and lifestyle and

thus

grasp bad habits which spoil their lives. It is clear that young people are mesmerised

with

Suggestion

the beauty and physical

apearance

outward or visible aspect of a person or thing

appearance

appearances

of movie actors and take steps to adopt their style.

This

is to say,

younsters

a young person of either sex

youngsters

get

involves

Suggestion

involved

in rigorous

gyming

the act of playing for stakes in the hope of winning (including the payment of a price for a chance to win a prize)

gaming

, strict dieting and having

steroids which

Accept comma addition

steroids, which

will help them to get the physique similar to the actors and actresses, which

evetually

after an unspecified period of time or an especially long delay

eventually

has a negative effect on their body and

heath

a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease

health

. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by The Times showed that more than 80 percent of young

aduls

a fully developed person from maturity onward

adults

suffer from some physical problems as they involve in detrimental activities in order to adopt their beauty. Apart from

this

, young people ar

e megnetis

having the properties of a magnet; i.e. of attracting iron or steel

magnetized

monetized

ed with the lifestyle and parties for the famous people and try to adopt

Submitted by sodhi.parul.18 on Fri Mar 20 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

189 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household takes equally (eg. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

In some countries an increasing no of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer game, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?