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Band 4

In some cultures the old age is highly valued, while in some cultures youth is highly valued. Discuss and give your opinion?

#cultures #age #youth
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In some
countries people
Accept comma addition
countries, people
 have a high opinion about senior citizens and create good conditions for them to lead a happy life. In some other countries the government focuses on the development of young people, who are considered to be more valuable than any other age groups. In some countries, elderly citizens enjoy well-established social welfare system. They can receive
high
Suggestion
higher
 pension after retirement, as the government allocates a high proportion of
budget
Suggestion
the budget
 to support
old
Suggestion
older
 people. When they get sick, they do not have to worry about the medical cost, as the medical service is free of charge. There are a variety of choices for them to spend their
late
coming at a subsequent time or stage
later
 years. They can choose to live in old folks homes if their adult children are too busy to take care of them. Some of them play an active role in participating in voluntary activities in communities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in some cultures, the whole society gives priority to the education and development of young people and their old aged counterparts may be neglected to some extent. Young people are bound to become the main force in the political, economic and
culture
Suggestion
cultural
 areas in the future. It is believed that money spent on young people will be more rewarding than that
on
Suggestion
for
old
Suggestion
older
 people. In some countries, the tuition is covered by the government, while the facilities supporting old population are quite limited. In my opinion, there is no denying that young people deserve the attention of the whole society, as their development determines the long-term prosperity of the country.
However
Linking Words
, we should
also
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 give special care and support
the old
Suggestion
older
 people, whose well-being
also
Linking Words
 represents the civilization of the country.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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