the graph below shows the number of library books read by boys and grils at Starmounth School from 2006 to the present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#library #books #boys #grils #starmounth #school #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The graph gives information about the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

boys

and girls reading

books

in the Starmount School

Library

. It shows the trends between 2009 and 2012. These trends

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

followed a similar pattern from 2009 to 2011. During the three years, the reading number of the

boys

always have been more than that

girls

Change preposition

of girls

show examples

However

, girls read more

books

in the

library

than

boys

from 2011 to 2012. During the first year of the chart’s information, the number of the

books

which the

grils

Correct your spelling

girls

read

incerased

Correct your spelling

increased

slowly. Since 2010, the reading volume of the reader who is a female in the

library

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

risen sharply. After that, the data reached a peak in 2012. Between 2009 and 2011, there was a gradual increase in

Correct article usage

the numbers

show examples

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

which

boys

read

Wrong verb form

reading

show examples

. In 2011, the whole

students

Correct quantifier usage

number of students

show examples

reading in the

library

reach 100

books

year, the number of

books

that

boys

read

fall

Correct subject-verb agreement

falls

show examples

significant

Change the word

significantly

show examples

and

reach

Correct subject-verb agreement

reaches

show examples

books

Overall

, it is an upward trend of

books

read by

grils

Correct your spelling

girls

and

boys

in the Starmount School

Library

However

, the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

boys

reading

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

been

Change preposition

on an

show examples

Change the article

show examples

downward trend in recent years.

Sat Mar 21 2020

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, books, library with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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the graph below shows the number of library books read by boys and grils at Starmounth School from 2006 to the present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

More and more people are shifting to cities from country side. Does this have advantages or disadvantage on environment?

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The government should control the use of the internet in a country