Being a celibrity –such as a famous film start or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celibrity #–such #film #sports #personality- #celebrity

Become

in a famous person

Suggestion

a famous person

could give you advantages and disadvantages.

Although

be a celebrity have

Suggestion

have a celebrity had

had a celebrity

has a celebrity

has a celebrity had

was a celebrity having

is a celebrity having

was a celebrity had

the benefit of

earn

Suggestion

earning

a great amount of money,

also

have the trouble that they lose their privacy.

Nonetheless

, in my opinion, always would be better being a star, for the reason that the world

is manage

Suggestion

has managed

manages

for power and money, so if you have both elements, you could live steadily.

However

, be famous has their problems as well. Overall, they complain about their privacy, ergo, they

can not

cannot

walk

quiet

Suggestion

quietly

in the street, because fans follow them

for

Suggestion

all the places.

Also

, stars have a live quite

stressfull

extremely irritating to the nerves

stressful

, for the reason that their careers are competitive.

For example

, celebrities, in general, are professions

such

as singers, sports personality and film actors.

Hence whether

Accept comma addition

Hence, whether

they fail, likely will lose several benefits.

On the other hand

, be

recognize

Suggestion

recognized

for many people is one of the

positives

Suggestion

positive

things to be a star, because

this

mean that you are an

influencer

a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc

influence

and what you doing or saying will have an impact in the society.

Besides

, probably they will

paying

Suggestion

pay

very well for what they like to do.

For instance

, artists

such

as JLo or Chayanne with their 50 years looks like very happy with their jobs. In conclusion, the discussion about whether being a celebrity have most positives or negatives things always will be a current topic. In my view, all people in the earth want to be

recognize

Suggestion

recognized

, even the group of persons that say what they do not interesting. I believe

this

, due to the human live in society,

then

while more popular is more benefits will be able to have.

Sat Mar 21 2020

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Being a celibrity –such as a famous film start or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Scientists and technology expert seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

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