There are social, medical, and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of the mobile phones?

Mobile phones bring many convenient to our fast-paced society.
However
, the usage
also
direct attention to the many that concern on the underlying problems.
This
essay will discuss those
hiden
not accessible to view
hidden
issues related to society and health, and why I am totally agreed to cell phones bring less advantages.
First
, with the vast amount of social apps
such
as Facebook, Instagram and among others are connecting us more than before. Those apps installed on a mobile
phone
that has equipped with Camera, Video and GPS, has changed the way we connect with our
close
Suggestion
closest
one. When we update status like on vacation, on shopping and on the gym,
this
has posted a huge risk to ourself that someone with bad intention will follow us.
For instance
, news had reported a young girl posted her selfie at one of the shopping
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
in Kuala Lumpur with GPS enabled, the girl was raped by a group of 4 strong men in the nearby car park.
Next
, mobile phones once considered as telecommunication tools, expensive, and heavy, but now it has made us do more wonders. Because mobile phones are so
afforable
that you have the financial means for
affordable
adorable
, which fully installed with quality lens, touch screen, and
light weight
a professional boxer who weighs between 131 and 135 pounds
lightweight
, that every
walks
Suggestion
walk
of life are having it, we are so used to have a mobile
phone
with us irregardless of where we are. Some kids,
for example
, without the control
from
Suggestion
of
parents have installed many different
kind
Suggestion
kinds
of games. As mums and dads are busy with their works, they leave their children with cell
phone
. These kids are always spending excessive time through the week on the small screen.
Therefore
, it is very common to see young patients being diagnosed with eye related problems. In my opinion, portable
phone
should have controlled by all parties. If we let the problems persist without regulation, I will foresee the crime rate and diseases are getting worse.
As a result
, the disadvantages
is overtaking
Suggestion
are overtaking
the advantages that cell
phone
can do to us.
Submitted by oscar.ongeh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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