In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society? What is your opinion on that? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #proportion #people #trend #effects #society

These days, the amount of older people has been increasing in many parts of

global

Suggestion

the globe

globe

. There are more negative and

postive

characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty etc.

positive

effects on our society. In my

opinion there

Accept comma addition

opinion, there

Suggestion

are

more advantages

Suggestion

our society,

also

this

have several disadvantages. Let's begin by looking at the positives of the increasing of older people.

Firstly

, nowadays the share of older people is increasing because of improvement of medicine and science people are enjoying a longer life than before.

For example

, one of the famous country Japan, Japanese people live longer than other countries because there is the best condition, pure water and neat air.

In addition

, the more longer livers in the world that Japanese people. There is no doubt that

this

has improved people's lives and

this

would not have been possible without longer life. Turning to the other side of the argument, in some community older

are considered

Suggestion

is considered

to be

burden

Suggestion

burdened

For instance

, a family which is going to the trip in the remote locations, if in family have older people that grandparents,

as a result

of they deserted by your kids.

Finally

, if the proportion of older people will be

rised

located or moved above the surround or above the normal position

raised

reused

risen

, the household will live happy because every

kids

Suggestion

kid

want

Suggestion

wants

that their parents will live

eternal

Suggestion

eternally

with them and enjoying from life. In conclusion, I personally

beleive

accept as true; take to be true

believe

that the rising of older people will be beneficial for all. Because, when a person who becomes old, he or she gets profit on our community.

Submitted by sobirxonovasrorxon2004 on Sat Mar 21 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society? What is your opinion on that? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Word Count

It is difficult for people in cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and what solutions could be taken to solve the problem ?

Being a celibrity –such as a famous film start or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Some people claim that too much focus and resources have been spent to protect wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?