The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The bar chart illustrates the
proportion
of Australian male
and Fix the agreement mistake
males
female
who Fix the agreement mistake
females
practiced
routine physical Change the spelling
practised
activity
in six different age
groups in 2010.
Overall
, it is clear that
the percentage
of doing
regular physical Unnecessary verb
apply
activity
of
Change preposition
in
female
was higher than Fix the agreement mistake
females
male
in the given’s diagram period. The Fix the agreement mistake
males
percentage
of middle age
female groups who did physical activity
were the most, while
the less physical activity
of male was from 35 to 44 ages.
In the youngest age
(15 to 24), the proportion
of exercising daily of
Change preposition
apply
Add an article
the male
a male
male
was higher than Fix the agreement mistake
males
female
by 5,1 %. Fix the agreement mistake
females
In contrast
, in
the Change preposition
at
age
of 25 to 34, the percentage
of routine physical activity
of male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
lower
than Add a missing verb
is lower
female
by 6,7%, Fix the agreement mistake
females
while
the figure of
Change preposition
for
male
and Fix the agreement mistake
males
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
in
the Change preposition
at
age
35 to 44 to 39,5% and 52,5%, respectively.
In the 45 to 54 Fix the agreement mistake
ages
age
group, the proportion
of doing exercise daily of female continued higher than male
by 10,2%. Between the Fix the agreement mistake
males
age
45 and 54 shared the same trend, with the Fix the agreement mistake
ages
percentage
of routine physical activity
of male
and Fix the agreement mistake
males
female
were 45,1% and 53%, respectively. Fix the agreement mistake
females
Finally
, the proportion
of Australian male
and Fix the agreement mistake
males
female
who did physical Fix the agreement mistake
females
activity
were
about the same, with the Change the verb form
was
percentage
of exercising regularly of female
higher than Fix the agreement mistake
females
male
by 0,4%.Fix the agreement mistake
males
Submitted by nguyennhancrazy on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, activity, age, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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