IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Advertisements are becoming more and more common in our everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

#advertisements #life #development
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Advertisements have become an indispensable part of the modern world.
However
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, no one can deny that
advertisement
Use synonyms
 has both negative and positive impact on our lives.
This
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 essay will discuss
this
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 view in depth.
To begin
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 with, it is clear that the remarkable development of
advertisement
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 brings us a range of merits.
First
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, (the) consumer currently finds it easier to approach
information
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 about new products and services through social media
such
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 as (the) internet, tv or radio. To explain
this
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 trend, it is rather justified that commercial
advertisement
Use synonyms
 has become a critical factor that can help (a) company boots their sales more effectively.
As a result
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, consumers have a tendency to buy products advertised more regularly on TV or (the) internet.
For instance
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, according to a comprehensive study conducted recently, most of
people
Suggestion
the people
 in the survey said that they could easily find the products that suit them
best
Suggestion
better
 when they saw advertisements about these on Facebook.
Besides
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, there is no doubt that
advertisement
Use synonyms
 is a vital field that can create (a) job for certain groups of people, especially is editors, commercial models, and even film making.
This
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 is because many of them are struggling to find a well-paid job nowadays.
Hence
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, the improvement in
advertisement
Use synonyms
 contributing to
…
Accept space
…
 many available job
opportuinities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
have been
Suggestion
has been
 beneficial for them a lot. From my personal perspective, due to these main advantages, advertisements have played an essential role in our society.
However
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, there are some negative aspects that we
sould
expresses an emotional, practical, or other reason for doing something
should
 consider when regarding to the development of
advertisments
a public promotion of some product or service
advertisements
. The
first
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 reason is that, simply because of the revenue, many companies and organizations advertised wrong
information
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 about their products. There is no point in advertising wrong
information
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 just because they want to convince (the) customer to buy their products.
As a result
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, in Viet Nam, people always have to be considered and read the
information
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 carefully to make sure that they do not
misunderstad
interpret in the wrong way
misunderstand
misunderstood
 about products. Another more severe problem is that some websites are stealing user’s private
information
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 to sell these
information
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 to other
bussineses
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
businesses
.
This
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 could really annoy people when they have to see the same ad almost every day. Above on, they could lose their important
information
Use synonyms
 and
can not
can not
cannot
 maintain their personal lives anymore. A recent survey reveals that Facebook and many other websites are stealing your private
information
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 through the conversations you have
chat
Suggestion
chatted
 with your friends.
This
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 situation is absolutely unacceptable.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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