Developing countries like Bangladesh should concentrate more on industrial development, instead of agriculture, to achieve better development. Do you agree or disagree?

Third world nations like Bangladesh must focus on industrial advancement

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

agriculture

Use synonyms

in order to attain far better progress. A strong conviction of

this

Linking Words

statement will be presented as I thoroughly examine

this

Linking Words

perspective in the essay. In my opinion, I certainly believe the society is likely to flourish if advancement in different sectors of industries

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

prioritized

Change the spelling

prioritised

show examples

as opposed to just concentrating efforts in

agriculture

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, a developed industry can offer far better options in terms of jobs and opportunities to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. Basically, current developments open possibilities in all aspects of life, but more

importantly

Punctuation problem

importantly,

show examples

in the employment sector. Proliferation of establishments in one area

mean

Correct subject-verb agreement

means

show examples

the creation of

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and a stable source of income

Change preposition

for

show examples

many.

For instance

Linking Words

, the financial capability of a regular employee has

been often

Correct word order

often been

show examples

consistent because a fixed monthly remuneration from employers is expected.

In contrast

Linking Words

, a landowner who only depends on income from seasonal

harvest

Fix the agreement mistake

harvests

show examples

is not entirely reassuring with regard to

sustenance

Correct article usage

the sustenance

show examples

of the

need

Fix the agreement mistake

needs

show examples

of the family. In that sense,

industrialization

Change the spelling

industrialisation

show examples

is always advantageous to the community.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, an economy

that is

Linking Words

focused mainly on

agriculture

Use synonyms

is bound to have limitations in progress. The less aggressive approach in

agriculture

Use synonyms

presents humanity with a slower pace of progress as compared to the

state of the art

Use the right word

state-of-the-art

show examples

development that current industries can offer.To put it into perspective, if people will mainly use the land to grow products,

then

Linking Words

a balance will not be achieved towards development. Breakthroughs happen when the community targets to improve the

overall

Linking Words

welfare of the people. With that in mind, embracing the benefits that

modernization

Change the spelling

modernisation

show examples

can certainly provide can help advance the status of everyone. To

summarize

Change the spelling

summarise

show examples

, I strongly acknowledge that

poverty stricken

Use the right word

poverty-stricken

show examples

nations should

prioritize

Change the spelling

prioritise

show examples

modern types of businesses because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will help improve the lives of many in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

summerinparis.8828

Mar 22, 2020

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language

Tidy up language and fix errors. Use short, clear sentences to avoid long, confusing lines.

content

Be more precise in your stance. A brief note acknowledging some good points about agriculture, then explain why you value industry most.

examples

Add more concrete examples with numbers or known facts to back up claims.

structure

Follow a clear structure: one opening with your view, two body paragraphs with key points, a conclusion that restates your view.

cohesion

Use linking words consistently to connect ideas (for example, however, therefore, in addition).

idea

Clear main position is stated.

structure

Good use of connectors to show the flow of ideas.

content

Examples about job income are relevant to support points.

coherence

Overall progression from argument to conclusion is logical.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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