IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Men occupy most of the top-level jobs. Should government reserve more jobs for women? Give your opinion.

#men #jobs #government #reserve #women
Many high level professionals look for high qualified jobs, many people try to fight for it and men are the winner in
this
 race. Why women are the less benefited occupying top-level jobs and what should make the government about
this
 problem? In
this
 essay I'll give my opinion about
this
 topic. It is known
that world culture
Suggestion
world culture that
 is based on machismo, and women have been tagged as housewives and the only job they can do is clean and child care,
therefore
 they cannot target top-level job. Nowadays,
this
 culture is changing and now women are able to fit high level jobs and we've seen that they are capable of achieving their goals and go beyond what they can do.
Thus
, the government must reserve more jobs for women as they have demonstrated that they can do all kinds of jobs and they do it very well.
Although
 some governments have
this
 machismo thought they have opened job vacancies in politics areas for women.
In addition
, big discoveries were made by women, thanks to them, we were able to go to the moon, and
also
 we were able to establish a big network called the Internet. In conclusion, government should give more opportunities to women and recognize them for their jobs and capabilities, as well as having a great balance in high level jobs for men and women so they can find the same opportunities without being discriminated because their gender.
Submitted by bashir.akle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: