IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that children should learn how to compete but others think that children should be taught to cooperate to to become more useful adults. Express some reasons for both the views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #adults
Children are the future of every nation. So there is always a debate about what qualities should they learn to get success in life. Some believe that in the world of competition, they should teach to compete with others. The school of thought opines that in order to make them more useful in life they should learn co-operation with other people. Reasoning for both the viewpoints are described below in the essay before owing to relevant conclusion. Considering the viewpoint, supporters believe that with increasing the population and decreasing the demand for skilled person children should learn to stand with other competitors and prove themselves better than others. The prime advantage is they are self-motivated by observing others in the queue. Due to
this
, they can learn good things from others and can add it in their basket of skills. Addition to
this
, the hunger of proving themselves better make them do more hard work which improves their skills like determination, concentration and passion towards work. On the flip side, teaching children to co-operate has its own benefits.
Firstly
, they learn teamwork by working together with other people and can build qualities like leadership.
Also
, it is very useful for the society as they work cooperatively and help another person whenever he is in need.
Moreover
, it removes the feeling of jealousy and so decrease the cold war among the people. To cap it all, to become a good human learning, cooperation is very important. Agglomerating all the points, to conclude and according to my viewpoint, I would state that teaching children to compete is very important to survive in the modern world. But with that they should
also
 be taught to cooperate with others in order to become a good and useful adult.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: