The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three period and whether they were studying full-time and part-time.

#men #women #education #britain #three #period

The bar graph illustrates the information about the British males and females in additional study to full-time or part-time between three decades

Overall

, it can be clearly seen that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

full-time study is more popular than

part time

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

education for both

men

and women. It can be observed that

Change preposition

from

show examples

1970 to 1981, one million males studied full-time and 180000

men

studied part-time,

whereas

opposite site , females approximately 800000

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

studied full-time

however

par-time

Correct your spelling

part-time

show examples

studied was least that was just 150000.

In contrast

, there was full-time a steady decrease for

men

during 1980-81 that has been just above 800000,

while

female enrolment

was slightly risen

Change to the active voice

slightly rose

rose

show examples

in the same period. Part-time

studied

Wrong verb form

studies

show examples

almost

Add a missing verb

are almost

show examples

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

of the previous decade.

Furthermore

, full-time education

grown

Add the auxiliary verb

grew

has grown

show examples

up in 1990 to 1991 which was almost touched 1100 thousand.

Change preposition

show examples

opposite

Add an article

the opposite

show examples

side, males

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

approximately 900 thousand

into

Change preposition

show examples

this

decade.

In addition

part -time

Correct your spelling

part-time

show examples

education was

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

both

Change preposition

for both

show examples

men

and women that were 200000 respectively throughout the decade.

Submitted by jadejaankitsinh9574 on Tue Mar 24 2020

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Vocabulary: Replace the words men with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

162 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three period and whether they were studying full-time and part-time.

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent researching other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Number of people who are at high risk due to overweight.what is the reason?

Nowadays, many people prefer to seek medical advice on the Internet instead of seeing a qualified doctor. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

In some areas of the USA, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion aboout this?

Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space. Others argue they should spend the money for poor people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.